Not in a hurry but urgent
Creating "Noey" in public pt 2
Quick thoughts
I write these words aimlessly
But not without hope
Jermaine Lamarr Cole
I hope the two readers on here don’t think I gave up. I've actually been actively working on Noey, from the photography and art direction to the first issue. Unfortunately, I just haven’t cared enough to share it on Substack. No, don’t worry, this is not, yet another, article ranting about the pitfalls of social media and how Substack is EVEN worse than instagram. That would be a mere rain drop into a sea of existing complaints, wouldn’t it?
While I am torn on how to best share news, sharing my goals publicly comes out of necessity. I use the internet as my accountability partner; a tool to shame me when I am slacking on something I promised myself. However, it’s always followed with vein metric watching, seeing others receive tons of likes and subscribers makes you forget why you share online in the first place. You inadvertently start running the social media rat race; create fast, post frequently and follow all the clickbait trends. Honestly, I've just accepted that I'm not really built for the 'content creator' hustle. My pace is more like one of these articles every month or two, tops. I, so often have to step back to remind myself not to get caught up. The hiatus was me touching grass!
PS: I might move this whole thing to a personal blog soon. Substack's really gone wild with the email digests of notes, making them feel less focused and more algorithmic. If I do jump ship, I'll leave a big goodbye message right here!
Anyway, back to the topic…
The last few months…
Last night, I read a text from a group chat that read “I think I need a personal assistant”. On the surface, everyone in the group read it as subtle flex - “Look at this guy, he can afford a PA?!”. But deep down we all knew that just meant “work-life balance is kicking my ass right now”. I relate to that all too well. Recognizing this, I sought out help. A lot of it! I shot a couple of emails out to designers I knew to help me shape out Noey and create a visual identity and reusable zine template. The responses were positive and almost everyone was keen to step in and lend a helping hand. All of the work would be paid, of course. Much to my dismay, life happens. A few folks had more pressing projects to work on, some were too pricey and others misaligned with the project's scope.
Despite all the back and forth, I still took photos! The ideas changed, but my camera remained the constant, and I was always snapping away. Cycle trip? Pack your camera. Meeting with friends? Don't forget your camera. I feel naked when I don't carry my camera. Eventually, it clicked (pun intended): all that really matters are the photos. In a perfect world, there would be a beautiful marriage between the photos and the execution of art direction (typography, à la graphic design). Yes, I can build some patience and wait for the right individual to work with.
Ironically, with every passing month, I started to care less and less about the presentation of it all. I no longer wanted to view this from the lens of an exhibition or sales perspective. It felt like the same relentless 'rat race' I so often complain about with social media. Essentially, I was just getting in my own way, trying to create a process, make a product, collaborate with others, and document it all at the same time. What's that saying? We put our pants on one leg at a time? All that to say, this realization led to the decision to simply do as much as I could, as often as I could, on my own, and hopefully the right people and ideas will fill in the blanks.
Issue #1: Nostalgia
I'm tryna paint the picture as I see it
But these days I really don't believe it
I fall asleep beside the sofa in the evening
My heart heaving, panic, but I couldn't find the meaning
I wonder if it's just my childhood I'm grieving
Laying on that cold floor, staring at the ceiling
Loyle Carner
I find myself being a lot more reserved than I used to be. Notifications off, eyes fixed resolutely forward in public, a deliberate retreat into myself. Lately, I've simply been sitting with memories, feelings, and my inner child, which explains why I've had a lot less to say around friends and family. As summer arrives, I can't help but just want to sit under the sun and do nothing of importance. I've been chasing down old Walkmans, filming on Super 8, and romanticising VH1 and cassette tapes – I'm feeling nostalgic.
Initially, I thought of some pseudo-intellectual meaning and title for the zine, thinking it would give these feelings enough depth. But the truth is, it's not that deep (shrug). It is what it is. Every element of this issue is just something that took me down memory lane or brought back an old feeling. So I am naming the first issue that, Nostalgia.
When I say 'I’m feeling nostalgic,' I'm not exaggerating. As a generally tech-savvy dude (if I do say so myself), it's pretty wild to find myself cutting out letters for 'NEOY' just to visualise how the first issue will look. It transports me straight back to preschool, to the slow, careful snip-snip of clumsy scissors on paper.
I guess I’m learning to relax some of my expectations. Photography feeds my soul, but it is just a hobby right now. The upside is it doesn't feel like work (most of the time). I'm trying to lean into that feeling as much as I can. I know I’ll have the zine done before the end of the year. I know I’ll need help reviewing the layout and design, but for now, I’ll just keep shooting and editing the zine as much as I can. There is no use in just being stuck, and no point overstating my intentions with this new zine, so here are some of my favorite shots for the rest of the article. Hopefully, I don’t go too long without writing another one of these.
