Yonkers

Creating Noey in Public, Part 4: More extracts of the Nostalgia Issue

Fun fact: In the 17th century, nostalgia was considered a disease. Swiss physician Johannes Hofer coined the term to diagnose soldiers who were longing for home, a condition that was once believed to be fatal. It's a jarring thought, being told that your emotions are not natural but a sign that something is fundamentally wrong with you. The title of this article is very similar in that regard. "Yonkers" is a song by Tyler, The Creator that had a similar effect on me. Like Johannes Hofer, I was quick to diagnose Tyler, thinking, "Whoa, something is wrong with that guy!". It was his breakout single, controversial due to its dark subject matter, graphic music video, and abrupt ending of Tyler committing suicide.

F*** everything, man. That's what my conscience said
Then it bunny-hopped off my shoulder, now my conscience dead
Now the only guidance that I had is splattered on cement
Actions speak louder than words, let me try this s***
Dead

- Tyler, The Creator from Yonkers

Yonkers

There is this human trait we find in ourselves (some experience it more than others). It comes with a negative connotation, so if you’re lucky, you only felt it for a brief moment before it just passed you by. It is more typically displayed as “lashing out”, but even the calm feel this slow, brewing type of feeling within themselves: a spirit of rebellion.

What does defiance look like? What sound does disruption make? It looks like silence, and it sounds like compliance. That’s the most dangerous form: the rebellion that never makes it to a song lyric or a public square. It’s the feeling that brews slow and deep, staying hidden until it hardens into something unbreakable, something far more disruptive and unnatural than simply “lashing out”. You can’t diagnose what you can’t see. That is the true illness: the invisible cultural diagnosis we accept when we stifle the urge to make noise and choose to function over feeling.